Recently, I was faced with a moral and ethical dilemma which forced me to choose between honesty and loyalty. I hope that the result of that choice will guide me in future decisions. At the time of the incident I was working as a pharmacy technician in ________.

The dilemma I faced involved a fellow technician who was hired at the same time as me. The two of us had become close friends during the course of our employment. My friend was obsessed with bodybuilding to the extent that he was willing to steal intravenous steroids from the pharmacy. As a friend, I tried to warn him of the dangers of steroids and convince him to stop stealing. However, probably because he was consistently successful in stealing, he ignored my advice. Soon my friend began changing the stock quantity by using one of the pharmacists' login ID and password.

At this point, I became more and more adamant in my warnings and even requested shift changes so I would not witness his actions. If he were to ask me why I was changing shifts, I would lie and say it was due to conflicting school commitments. So not only was I withholding the truth from my employer, I was also lying to my friend. Finally, the manager suspected that my friend was stealing steroids. Knowing that I was close to this individual, the manager began to question me and hinted at firing both of us if no one confessed the truth. Thus, I was confronted by a choice between loyalty to my friend and honesty to my employer.

I made a decision. I told the manager about my friend's actions. I don't know if I made the right decision and it still haunts me. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. I was being honest as I learned in childhood. Yet, what was my duty to my employer? Perhaps my only duty was to do my job and come in on time and nothing beyond that. What was my duty to my friend? Keeping a friend's secret is also a value that I learned growing up. These opposing values were in constant conflict within me and were actually causing physical stress. Now I believe that my employer had a right to know about any theft occurring in its business. And although I do believe in being loyalty to friends, sometimes honesty is a more important virtue to uphold.

Theft from the pharmacy had far-reaching consequences - to the business, its owners, the other employees, and the customers.

Additionally, when a friend commits an act that is unethical, I do not believe that it is right for me to commit an unethical act to protect him or her. When I reflect on my decision, a part of me knows that fear that guided my decision, not morality or ethics. Maybe I disclosed the theft just to relieve myself of this burden. I am not sure. The only conclusion that I can draw from this experience is that life is hard and living by a moral and ethical code is even harder.

The next time I am confronted by a decision of this magnitude I will be cautious and my choice will reflect my values, not those of my employer, my friend, my parents or anyone else. At the end of the day, I sleep with my own conscience and no one else's