THREE STEP WRITING PROCESS TO ROUTINE & POSITIVE MESSAGES VER1.0
GRADED ASSIGNMENT
Grading Criteria 5 POINTS EACH ANSWER
Read the following documents, then (1) analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each sentence and (2) revise each document: Message 8.A: Requesting Routine Information from a Business Our college is Closing its dining hall for financial reasons, so we want to do something to help the students prepare their own food in their dorm rooms if they so choose. Your colorful ad in Collegiate Magazine caught our eye. We need the following information before we make our decision.
1 Would you be able to ship the microwaves by August 15th? I realize this is short notice, but our board of trustees just made the decision to close the dining hall last week and we're scrambling around trying to figure out what to do.
2 Do they have any kind of a warranty? College students can be pretty hard on things, as you know, so we will need a good warranty.
3 How much does it cost? Do you give a discount for a big order? 4 Do we have to provide a special outlet? 5 Will students know how to use them, or will we need to provide instructions?
As I said before, we're on a tight time frame and need good information from you as soon as possible to help us make our decision about ordering. You never know what the board might come up with next. I'm looking at several other companies, also, so please let us know ASAP.
Message 8.B: Making Claims and Requests for Adjustment
At a local business-supply store, I recently purchased your Negotiator Pro for my computer. I bought the CD because I saw your ad for it in Macworld magazine, and it looked as if it might be an effective tool for use in my corporate seminar on negotiation. Unfortunately, when I inserted it in my office computer, it wouldn't work. I returned it to the store, but since I had already opened it, they refused to exchange it for a CD that would work or give me a refund. They told me to contact you and that you might be able to send me a version that would work with my computer.
You can send the information to me at the letterhead address. If you cannot send me the correct disk, please refund my $79.95. Thanks in advance for any help you can give me in this matter.
Message 8.C: Responding to Claims and Adjustment Requests When the Customer Is at Fault We read your letter requesting your deposit refund. We couldn't figure out why you hadn't received it, so we talked to our maintenance engineer as you suggested. He said you had left one of the doors off the hinges in your apartment in order to get a large sofa through the door. He also confirmed that you had paid him $5.00 to replace the door since you had to turn in the U-Haul trailer and were in a big hurry.
This entire situation really was caused by a lack of communication between our housekeeping inspector and the maintenance engineer. All we knew was that the door was off the hinges when it was inspected by Sally Tarnley. You know that our policy states that if anything is wrong with the apartment, we keep the deposit. We had no way of knowing that George just hadn't gotten around to replacing the door.
CORPRET FOX, Co- Confidential, All Rights Reserved 5
PART 9: THREE STEP WRITING PROCESS TO ROUTINE & POSITIVE MESSAGES VER1.0 But we have good news. We approved the deposit refund, which will be mailed to you from our home office in Teaneck, New Jersey. I'm not sure how long that will take, however. If you don't
receive the check by the end of next month, give me a call.
Next time, it's really a good idea to stay with your apartment until it's inspected as stipulated in your lease agreement. That way, you'll be sure to receive your refund when you expect it. Hope you have a good summer.
Message 8.D: Letter of Recommendation
Your letter to Kunitake Ando, President of Sony, was forwarded to me because I am the human resources director. In my job as head of HR, I have access to performance reviews for all of the Sony employees in the united States. This means, of course, that I would be the person best qualified to answer your request for information on Nick Oshinski.
In your letter of the 15th, you asked about Nick Oshinski's employment record with us because he has applied to work for your company. Mr. Oshinski was employed with us from January 5,1998, until March 1, 2008. During that time, Mr. Oshinski received ratings ranging from 2.5 up to 9.6, with 10 being the top score. As you can see, he must have done better reporting to some managers than to others. In addition, he took all vacation days, which is a bit unusual. Although I did not know Mr. Oshinski personally, I know that our best workers seldom use all the vacation time they earn. I do not know if that applies in this case.
In summary, Nick Oshinski performed his tasks well depending on who managed him.
PART 10 : APPLYING THE THREE PART WRITING PROCESS TO NEGATIVE MESSAGES VER 1.0
Grading Criteria Total
GRADED ASSIGNMENT
5 Points each Q9A-C 5 Points Case --- 20 Points
Read the following messages, then (1) analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each sentence and (2) revise each message so that it follows this chapter's guidelines.
Message 9.A: Providing Negative News About Transactions Your spring fraternity party sounds like fun. We're glad you've again chosen us as your caterer. Unfortunately, we have changed a few of our policies, and I wanted you to know about these changes in advance so that we won't have any misunderstandings on the day of the party.
We will arrange the delivery of tables and chairs as usual the evening before the party. However, if you want us to set up, there is "now a $100 charge for that service. Of course, you might want to get some of the brothers and pledges to do it, which would save you money. We've also added a small charge for cleanup. This is only $3 per person (you can estimate because I know a lot of people come and go later in the evening).
Other than that, all the arrangements will be the same. We'll provide the skirting for the band stage, tablecloths, bar' setup, and, of course, the barbecue. Will you have the tubs of ice with soft drinks again? We can do that for you as well, but there will be a fee.
Please let me know if you have any problems with these changes and we'll try to work them out. I know it's going to be a great party.
Message 9.B: Refusing Requests for Claims and Adjustments
I am responding to your letter of about six weeks ago asking for an adjustment on your wireless hub, model WM39Z. We test all our products before they leave the factory; therefore, it could not have been our fault that your hub didn't work.
If you or someone in your office dropped the unit, it might have caused the damage. Or the damage could have been caused by the shipper if he dropped it. If so you should file a claim with the shipper. At any rate, it wasn't our fault. The parts are already covered by warranty. However, we will provide labor for the repairs for $50, which is less than our cost, since you are a valued customer.
We will have a booth at the upcoming trade show there and hope to see you or someone from your office. We have many new models of hubs, routers, and other computer gear that we're sure you'll want to see. I've enclosed our latest catalog. Hope to see you there.
Message 9.C: Rejecting Job Applications
I regret to inform you that you were not selected for our summer intern program at Equifax. We had over a thousand resumes and cover letters to go through arid simply could not get to the mall. We have been asked to notify everyone that we have already selected students for the 25 positions based on those who applied early and were qualified.
We're sure you will be able to find a suitable position for summer work in your field and wish you the' best of luck. We deeply regret any inconvenience associated with our reply.