Preparing for Skill-Development Exercise 1 You should have read and now understand attitudes and personality traits. Effective leaders know themselves and work to maximize their strengths and minimize their weaknesses. As the name of this exercise implies, you can improve your attitudes and personality traits through this exercise by following these steps.

1. Identify strengths and weaknesses. Review the six self-assessment exercises in this chapter. List your three major strengths and areas that can be improved: We don't always see ourselves as others do. Research has shown that many people are not accurate in describing their own personalities, and that others can describe them more objectively. Before going on with this exercise, you may want to ask someone you know well to complete your personality profile (see Self-Assessment 1 on page 32), rate your attitude as positive or negative, and list your strengths and areas for improvement.

2. Develop a plan for improving. Start with your Number One area to improve on. Write down specific things that you can do to improve. List specific times, dates, and places that you will implement your plans. You may want to review the 12 tips for developing a more positive attitude and self-concept for ideas. Use additional paper if you need more space.

3. Work on other areas for improvement. After you see improvement in your first area, develop a new plan for your second area, and proceed through the steps again. Optional: If you have a negative attitude toward yourself or others--or you would like to improve your behavior with others (family, coworkers), things, or issues (disliking school or work)--try following the internationally known motivational speaker and trainer Zig Ziglar's system.129 Thousands of people have used this system successfully. This system can also be used for changing personality traits as well. Here are the steps to follow, with an example plan for a person who has a negative self-concept and also wants to be more sensitive to others. Use this example as a guide for developing your own plan.

1. Self-concept. Write down everything you like about yourself. List all your strengths. Then go on and list all your weaknesses. Get a good friend to help you.

2. Make a clean new list, and using positive affirmations, write all your strengths. Example: "I am sensitive to others' needs."

3. On another sheet of paper, again using positive affirmations, list all your weaknesses. For example, don't write "I need to lose weight." Write, "I am a slim (whatever you realistically can weigh in 30 days) pounds." Don't write, "I have to stop criticizing myself." Write, "I positively praise myself often, every day." Write "I have good communications skills," not "I am a weak communicator." The following list gives example affirmations for improving sensitivity to others. Note the repetition; you can use a thesaurus to help. I am sensitive to others. My behavior with others conveys my warmth for them. I convey my concern for others. My behavior conveys kindness toward others. My behavior helps others build their self-esteem. People find me easy to talk to. I give others my full attention. I patiently listen to others talk. I answer others slowly and in a polite manner. I answer questions and make comments with useful information. My comments to others help them feel good about themselves. I compliment others regularly.

4. Practice. Every morning and night for at least the next 30 days, look at yourself in the mirror and read your list of positive affirmations. Be sure to look at yourself between each affirmation as you read. Or, record the list on a tape recorder and listen to it while looking at yourself in the mirror. If you are really motivated, you can repeat this step at other times of the day. Start with your areas for improvement. If it takes five minutes or more, don't bother with the list of your strengths. Or stop at five minutes; this exercise is effective in short sessions. Although miracles won't happen overnight, you may become more aware of your behavior in the first week. In the second or third week, you may become aware of yourself using new behavior successfully. You may still see some negatives, but the number will decrease in time as the positive increases. Psychological research has shown that if a person hears something believable repeated for 30 days, he or she will tend to believe it. Ziglar says that you cannot consistently perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself. So, as you listen to your positive affirmations, you will believe them, and you will behave in a manner that is consistent with your belief. Put simply, your behavior will change with your thoughts without a lot of hard work. For example, if you listen to the affirmation, "I am an honest person" (not, "I have to stop lying"), in time--without having to work at it--you will tell the truth. At first you may feel uncomfortable reading or listening to positive affirmations that you don't really believe you have. But keep looking at yourself in the mirror and reading or listening, and with time you will feel comfortable and believe it and live it. Are you thinking you don't need to improve, or that this method will not work? Yes, this system often does work. Zig Ziglar has trained thousands of satisfied people. One of this book's authors tried the system himself, and within two or three weeks, he could see improvement in his behavior. The question isn't will the system work for you, but rather will you work the system to improve?

5. When you slip, and we all do, don't get down on yourself. In the sensitivity-to-others example, if you are rude to someone and catch yourself, apologize and change to a positive tone. Effective leaders admit when they are wrong and apologize. If you have a hard time admitting you are wrong and saying you are sorry, at least be obviously nice so that the other person realizes you are saying you are sorry indirectly. Then forget about it and keep trying. Focus on your successes, not your slips. Don't let ten good discussions be ruined by one insensitive comment. If you were a baseball player and got nine out of ten hits, you'd be the best in the world.

6. Set another goal. After 30 days, select a new topic, such as developing a positive attitude toward work, school, or trying a specific leadership style that you want to develop. You can also include more than one area to work on. Doing Skill-Development Exercise 1 in Class Objective To develop your skill at improving your attitudes and personality traits. As a leader, you can also use this skill to help your followers improve. The primary AACSB learning standard skills developed through this exercise are reflective thinking and self-management and analytic skills. Preparation You should have identified at least one area for improvement and developed a plan to improve. Procedure 1 (1-2 minutes) Break into groups of two or preferably three; be sure the others in your group are people you feel comfortable sharing with. Procedure 2 (4-6 minutes) Have one of the group members volunteer to go first. The first volunteer states the attitude or personality trait they want to work on and describes the plan. The other group members give feedback on how to improve the plan. Try to give other plan ideas that can be helpful and/or provide some specific help. You can also make an agreement to ask each other how you are progressing at set class intervals. Don't change roles until you're asked to do so. Procedure 3 (4-6 minutes) A second group member volunteers to go next. Follow the same procedure as above. Procedure 4 (4-6 minutes) The third group member goes last. Follow the same procedure as above. Conclusion The instructor may lead a class discussion and/or make concluding remarks. Apply It (2-4 minutes) What did I learn from this exercise? Will I really try to improve my attitude and personality by implementing my plan? Sharing In the group, or to the entire class, volunteers may give their answers to the "Apply It" questions.