I. Relationship Development:

A. Consider the variables that we have studied that apply to why we form relationships (attraction, similarity, differences, proximity, etc.).

1. How did these variables function in the beginning of your relationship?

2. How do these variables function now that you have a more established relationship?

B. Consider your relationship in terms of the stages of escalating and deescalating relationships.

1. How did you move from one stage to another (what were some turning points)? Where are you now? What tells you this?

2. Be sure to talk about the levels and types of intimacy and the impact your self-concept has on intimacy in your relationships.

3. What suggestions for improving close relationships might be beneficial for you and your relationship?

C. Consider how dialectical tensions function in this relationship?

1. Give at least two specific examples

2. Describe how you managed the tension.

II. Communication Patterns/Behaviors in the Relationship:

A. Consider the role self-disclosure plays in this relationship.

1. Why/what reasons do you self-disclose in this relationship?

2. What benefits have you found in self disclosure?

3. How important is honesty in this relationship? Do you occasionally need to use ‘alternatives' to self-disclosure, and why? Give a specific example and discuss the results of such behavior on the relationship.

4. What guidelines for disclosure could you use to improve/enhance the relationship?

B. Consider how the influences on emotional expression (listed on pp. 121-125) have affected your communication in this relationship.

1. What guidelines for expressing emotion could you use to improve/enhance the relationship?

2. Include any other pertinent information from this chapter that relates to emotional expression in your relationship.

C. In what situations do you listen mindfully and in which do you listen mindlessly when interacting with this significant person in your life?

1. Identify the situations in which you listen ineffectively and the poor listening habits you use in those circumstances?

2. What listening styles could you use to respond more effectively in those situations?

D. What role does metacommunication play in this relationship?

1. What is your understanding of what you read in the chapter regarding metacommunication?

2. What types of communication behaviors do you usually discuss in your relationship?

III. Communication Climate of the Relationship:

A. What do you feel is the overall communication climate of your relationship?

1. What types of confirming and disconfirming messages do you use in this relationship?

2. What kinds of confirming and disconfirming messages do the other person in this relationship use? Give at least two specific examples of the use of these messages.

B. Consider the types of conflict that typically occur in your relationship.

1. What do you feel the conflict(s) that you generally have with this individual are about?

2. What conflict rituals exist in your relationship?

3. How do you handle/manage conflict (i.e.which styles do you generally use and what constructive conflict skills might you employ to

manage these conflicts more effectively)?

C. Overall, what is your level of satisfaction in the relationship?

1. What could/should be changed?

2. What is your prediction for how effective communication interactions will be in the future of this relationship? This should be discussed in the conclusion to your paper.