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Indirect Organization/Refused Adjustment Request

This assignment has two parts. In Part 1, you will be writing a negative message. In Part 2, you will complete a brief analysis of the message you have composed. You will put Part 1 and Part 2 together in a single document.

Part 1: Composing the Message

Eight months ago, your Red River Valley Kennels established its website displaying its facilities and inventory and offering its American Kennel Club (AKC) registered Labrador Retrievers for sale at $900 each.  You were delighted when almost immediately your first sale took place.  The order was from Ms. Trudi Anniston of Modesto, California, who wanted two puppies.  You shipped them by air and paid for delivery to her address (903 Seaside Drive, Modesto, CA  48596) and assumed that all was well.

Today you received an e-mail message from Ms. Anniston telling you that "the dogs were not healthy from the beginning.  One died yesterday, and the other is sick and may have to be destroyed.  I must ask that you refund the purchase price for both dogs ($1,800.00).  I should ask you to pay the veterinarian bills ($540), but I will forget about that."

You cannot accept the blame.  You sent Ms. Anniston two healthy pups.  They had been given all the required shots and were carefully inspected prior to shipment by your staff veterinarian, Dr. Elizabeth Stewart.  You have her signed statement supporting the dogs' health.  Why didn't Ms. Anniston report any health problems before now?  You do not believe her story.  You do not think you are responsible for what happened.  After all, a lot can happen in eight months.

Now you will write Ms. Anniston a letter on Red River Valley Kennels letterhead that you have designed (See page 536, Figure B.2 for the Block Style Letter letterhead format you will use.  Don't forget to include the Red River Valley Kennels' mailing and physical address, phone and fax numbers as a part of your letterhead, and pay attention to the spacing between elements in the text of your letter.

Here's what you need to do when revising the message:

  • Use the "negative news" or indirect strategy. (See Chapter 11 for details.)
  • Write the message so that it reflects the "you" perspective. (See pp. 143-44 in your textbook to review examples of "you voice") You will be courteous, but firm and will try to explain your position, although you suspect she already understands.
  • You may add content if you wish.
  • Use positive language. Avoid blaming your audience (or any sub-set of your audience) or accusing them of wrongdoing.
  • Edit the message so that the language is clear, concise, and grammatically correct. You may want to enlist a friend or family member to help you edit.

After you've reviewed the rubric for this assignment, submit your 1-page letter and your analysis on the next page to the Turnitin link provided for you in Unit 4.

Part 2: Self-Analysis of the Message

For Part 2 of this assignment, respond to the prompts and questions below. Each response should be between 25 and 75 words long and should follow good writing practice (complete sentences, proper grammar and punctuation, etc.).

1. In your own words, describe indirect format. In your description, explain how the content in a indirect-format message is organized and describe the situations in which indirect format is most appropriate.

2. Explain why indirect format appropriate for the message you have written for this assignment.

3. Describe how the message you composed conforms to the indirect format strategy described Chapter 11 and in the other learning materials in Unit 4.

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