How could the title and opening paragraph more effectively hook readers' interest and prepare them for the story to follow?

How might the writer improve the tension, structure, or pacing of the scenes?

How could the writer improve the connections between scenes or use a different organization such as a collage of scenes or flashbacks to enhance the clarity or drama of the narrative

Where might the writer provide more information about characters or describe them more fully?

Where might the writer use dialogue more effectively to reveal character?

How might the writer make the setting more vivid and connected to the action and significance of the story?

What insight of revelation do you get from this story? How could the narrative's thematic significance be made more memorable or powerful?

Where do you find examples of specific language? Where could the writer use more concrete languag?