Given the letter of appeal.
Edit it and let me know if I should add/subtract ideas I had done. Write it in exactly one page and no more.

August 1, 2016

Dear Undergraduate Admissions Committee,

I am writing this letter to appeal the rejection in the Department of Mechanical Engineering program for the Autumn Quarter of 2016. My aspiration is to follow a career path in mechanical engineering, specializing in stress analysis. My initial goal and choice in a department is to major in Mechanical Engineering at the University of Washington. My application to the department addressed many of my achievements, however I believe that my GPA contributed most to my disadvantage in the submission.

I partook in many commitments during my time at the University of Washington, which affected my focus on STEM courses. During my first year in college, I commuted to the Seattle campus from Mill Creek due to financial problems and helped support my mother and my sister with her academics. This reduced the ability to seek help from my professors, students and advisors. In the beginning of the year 2016, I started working at Microsoft to gain experience and provide income for my family. I commuted to the Redmond campus and worked for 20-40 hours a week. Due to this commitment I was not able to focus most of my time studying. During the spring quarter of this year, I went through family hardships when my grandmother passed away and had to help my mother plan for the funeral. These issues impacted my grades at the university (eh).

Although I went though some challenges with my GPA, I plan to change my learning habits and rearranging my commitments to allow more time for studying and focusing on my core classes. I will begin by changing my time management skills on working fewer hours at Microsoft. For financial stability, I will apply for more scholarships and aid. In return, I can spend more time on my education and joining ME clubs to connect with more engineering students and advisors. I have laid out three quarters of classes that I am dedicated to take this next upcoming school year as well as applied to the UW Mechanical EcoCAR team of 2016-17. I believe that these changes will guide me into receiving better grades and seeking more connections to succeed in the department of Mechanical Engineering.

Thank you for your time to reevaluate my application with this appeal. The department of Mechanical Engineering will always be my first choice in the field of engineering. I hope you can reconsider my submission into the department.

Sincerely,

FIRST LAST NAME
UW Net ID: #####

SIGNATURE