Experiential Exercise: Self Competency

Conflict-Handling Styles

Instructions

Each numbered item contains two statements that describe how people deal with conflict. Distribute 5 points between each pair of statements. The statement that more accurately reflects your likely response should receive the highest number of points. For example, if response (a) strongly describes your behavior, then record

5 a.

0 b.

However, if responses (a) and (b) are both characteristic, but (b) is slightly more characteristic of your behavior than (a), then record

2 a.

3 b.

1. _____ a. I am most comfortable letting others take responsibility for solving a problem. _____ b. Rather than negotiate differences, I stress those points for which agreement is obvious.

2. _____ a. I pride myself on finding compromise solutions. _____ b. I examine all the issues involved in any disagreement.

3. _____ a. I usually persist in pursuing my side of an issue. _____ b. I prefer to soothe others' feelings and preserve relationships.

4. _____ a. I pride myself in finding compromise solutions. _____ b. I usually sacrifice my wishes for the wishes of a peer.

5. _____ a. I consistently seek a peer's help in finding solutions. _____ b. I do whatever is necessary to avoid tension.

6. _____ a. As a rule, I avoid dealing with conflict. _____ b. I defend my position and push my view.

7. _____ a. I postpone dealing with conflict until I have had some time to think it over. _____ b. I am willing to give up some points if others give up some too.

8. _____ a. I use my influence to have my views accepted. _____ b. I attempt to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.

9. _____ a. I feel that most differences are not worth worrying about. _____ b. I make a strong effort to get my way on issues I care about.

10. _____ a. Occasionally I use my authority or technical knowledge to get my way. _____ b. I prefer compromise solutions to problems.

11. _____ a. I believe that a team can reach a better solution than any one person can working independently. _____ b. I often defer to the wishes of others

12. _____ a. I usually avoid taking positions that would create controversy. _____ b. I'm willing to give a little if a peer will give a little, too.

13. _____ a. I generally propose the middle ground as a solution. _____ b. I consistently press to "sell" my viewpoint.

14. _____ a. I prefer to hear everyone's side of an issue before making judgments. _____ b. I demonstrate the logic and benefits of my position.

15. _____ a. I would rather give in than argue about trivialities. _____ b. I avoid being "put on the spot." 16. _____ a. I refuse to hurt a peer's feelings. _____ b. I will defend my rights as a team member.

17. _____ a. I am usually firm in pursuing my point of view. _____ b. I'll walk away from disagreements before someone gets hurt.

18. _____ a. If it makes peers happy, I will agree with them. _____ b. I believe that give-and-take is the best way to resolve any disagreements.

19. _____ a. I prefer to have everyone involved in a conflict generate alternatives together. _____ b. When the team is discussing a serious problem, I usually keep quiet.

20. _____ a. I would rather openly resolve conflict than conceal differences. _____ b. I seek ways to balance gains and losses for equitable solutions.

21. _____ a. In problem solving, I am usually considerate of peers' viewpoints. _____ b. I prefer a direct and objective discussion of my disagreement.

22. _____ a. I seek solutions that meet some of everyone's needs. _____ b. I will argue as long as necessary to get my position heard.

23. _____ a. I like to assess the problem and identify a mutually agreeable solution. _____ b. When people challenge my position, I simply ignore them.

24. _____ a. If peers feel strongly about a position, I defer to it even if I don't agree. _____ b. I am willing to settle for a compromise solution.

25. _____ a. I am very persuasive when I have to be to win in a conflict situation. _____ b. I believe in the saying, "Kill your enemies with kindness."

26. _____ a. I will bargain with peers in an effort to manage disagreement. _____ b. I listen attentively before expressing my views.

27. _____ a. I avoid taking controversial positions. _____ b. I'm willing to give up my position for the benefit of the group.

28. _____ a. I enjoy competitive situations and "play" hard to win. _____ b. Whenever possible, I seek out knowledgeable peers to help resolve disagreements.

29. _____ a. I will surrender some of my demands, but I have to get something in return. _____ b. I don't like to air differences and usually keep my concerns to myself.

30. _____ a. I generally avoid hurting a peer's feelings. _____ b. When a peer and I disagree, I prefer to bring the issue out into the open so we can discuss it.

Scoring

Record your responses (number of points) in the space next to each statement number and then sum the points in each column.

Next carry over the totals from the column totals and then plot your total scores on the following chart to show the profile of your conflict-handling styles. A total score of 36 to 45 for a style may indicate a strong preference and use of that style. A total score of 0 to 18 for a style may indicate little preference and use of that style. A total score of 19 to 35 for a style may indicate a moderate preference and use of that style.

Questions

1. Are you satisfied with this profile? Why or why not?

2. What actions, if any, do you propose for improving your conflict-handling styles?