Directions: Study both the scenario and e-mail message below. Then, answer each question. When answering Questions 1 - 3, you may create fictional information if necessary.
Scenario
As a recent CSUS graduate, you are hoping to share your business writing skills with others (and make a few extra dollars, too). You have set up a communication consulting business and designed a two-day workshop for business professionals who would like to improve their writing. A friend in San Diego has suggested a possible need for your services in her area.
After some initial research, you have decided to plan a training session for September 26 and 27, 2016, from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. each day. You are expecting 25 participants, and are planning to use a meeting room with tables set up in a U-shaped formation.
You have put together a list of 20 hotels in the city of San Diego, and are ready to e-mail the event coordinator at each hotel to ask about available meeting space. (After you receive this information, you will be able to select the most appropriate location for your workshop.)
Your executive assistant has just drafted the e-mail message below for your approval. However, because the assistant had received a low score in Business Communications, you realize you will need to rewrite some of the message.
E-mail Message
TO: Tracey Nelson [tnelson@marriott.com]
SUBJECT:
(1) I am planning a two-day business writing workshop for professionals in your area.
(2) Therefore, I am writing to ask you for information about prices and availability of meeting rooms at your hotel. (3) Please tell me at your earliest convenience if you can help me.
(4) This seminar will be held on September 26 and 27, 2016. (5) I am very excited about the project and plan to have 25 people attend each day. (6) A necessary requirement is a U-shaped table formation.
(7) Please apprise me about possible discounts or package deals available at your locality. (8) Also, can audiovisual equipment be rented from your hotel? (9) Can a price list for refreshments during meetings be provided? (10) Finally, can a list of entertainment options in the area be sent to me?
Questions
A. Sentence Creation: As you answer Questions 1 - 3 below, make sure to use an effective business style, as well as correct grammar.
1. The e-mail message is missing a subject line. Write an effective subject line that would be appropriate for the scenario described earlier.
2. Evaluate the first sentence of the e-mail message. If this is effective, write "Correct." If not, create an appropriate first sentence.
3. The e-mail message is missing a goodwill close. Write an appropriate goodwill close for the message.
B. Multiple Choice: Select your answers for Questions 4 - 8 below based on the poorly written e-mail message above. (3 points each)
4. Which sentence contains a cliché?
a. Sentence 1
b. Sentence 3
c. Sentence 8
d. (none of the above)
5. Which sentence contains wording that is too formal (not short/simple)?
a. Sentence 5
b. Sentence 7
c. Sentence 9
d. (none of the above)
6. How many expletives do you find in the message?
a. 0
b. 2
c. 4
d. 6
7. How many state-of-being verbs do you find in the message?
a. 0
b. 2
c. 4
d. 6
8. How many examples of passive voice do you find in the message?
a. 0
b. 2
c. 4
d. 6