When it comes to the workplace that I am currently in and have only been in for eight months, which is LDRP, I have only come across death in the case of fetal demises and that has only happened twice. I would like to think that I can accept death, but it is difficult when it involves the life of an innocent fetus.

The first time that I experienced a fetal demise it took a lot to keep myself together long enough to make it out of the patients' room before completely breaking down. I was fortunate that my director was willing to let me talk to her about the experience afterwards and I think that made the whole situation a lot easier for me to handle. Prior to starting my job in labor and delivery I had experienced death of older adults during clinical rotations in hospitals but I do not think that it has made accepting it any easier for the department I am in.

I know that at some point there will be a moment when a mother codes or a newborn codes and does not make it and I am not sure how I will be able to handle myself in that situation, but fortunately we have a very close tight knit group of nurses on our unit that are always there for one another, even when things get rough.