What Can We Do About Hailey? Amy met Hailey at the beginning of the school year. Amy was drawn to Hailey, because Hailey seemed confident and positive. Over several months, the two of them have become good friends, sharing high and low points about school, family, and dates.

Two months ago, Hailey started dating Dan, a man who had dropped out of college after two years and who now worked as a waiter. At first Hailey seemed happy with Dan, but then she started changing. Today, she''s become less extroverted and a lot less positive. Often when Amy suggests doing something together, Hailey says she can''t because Dan might come over or call, and he doesn''t like for her not to be available to him.

When Amy sees them together, she notices that Dan doesn''t treat her with respect and often criticizes her harshly. One day, when Hailey says something to Dan while he is talking on his cell phone, he shouts, "Don''t talk to me! I''m on the phone." Later, when Hailey drops some papers, Dan says harshly, "You are as clumsy as an ox!" Amy is concerned that Hailey may be in a relationship that is verbally and physically abusive.

Amy thinks that Dan is damaging Hailey''s self-concept, and she wants to help. She visits Hailey late one day. "I''m worried about you," Amy said. "I don''t like the way he treats you." Hailey exclaims, "Because he called me clumsy? I am clumsy, and besides, if I do something stupid, I can''t expect him not to notice." "But he doesn''t show any respect for you at all." "Well, he''s a guy. He says what he''s thinking.

I know a lot of people''s boyfriends like that." Hailey paused and then finished, "Besides, I don''t think there''s anything wrong with Dan.

I think I just have to stop doing things that make him mad." Questions Write a paragraph or two in response to each of the following questions.

1. How can Hailey's acceptance of Dan's disrespect be explained in terms of self-concept? Refer to the scenario as well as to your reading and study about perception and the self as these relate to communication.

2. How might Amy communicate to Hailey to build up her self-concept? How might she handle this communication without hurting Hailey's relationship with Dan? Refer to the scenario as well as to your reading about perception and the self as these relate to communication.