TORTVILLE HYPOTHETICAL

It was a beautiful fall evening in Tortville, Indiana, and as Sheriff Mannix Cannon eased his 300-pound body out of his patrol car to proceed to the Tortville High School football field, he couldn’t help but be optimistic. Maybe tonight he could just concentrate on his favorite things in the world: Tortville Titan football; his quarterback son, Loose; his cheerleader daughter, Trixie; and of course, sports cuisine. It was already in the second quarter when Cannon took his seat. Tortville was leading the perennial powerhouse Corporate Raiders by a score of 28-0. Tortville had the ball, and Loose rolled out to make a pass. After Loose released the ball, Corporate’s frustrated All-State linebacker, Burton Battery, made a cheap shot on Loose, knocking Loose into the Tortville cheerleaders on the sideline. Cheerleader Vicky Victim’s leg was hurt when Loose bumped into her. While Loose was trying to comfort Vicky, Trixie began to taunt Burton. As she turned away from him, Burton charged at her. Loose jumped up and knocked Burton out. Hearing the noise, Trixie turned and realized how close she had come to being flattened by Burton. The thought made her very fearful and she began to cry. Sheriff Cannon missed all this action, however, because an agitated student told him that he needed to come to the old, unused concession stand. When he arrived at the stand, he saw Jennifer Jones sitting outside crying. Jones, who walked with the aid of crutches, told Sheriff Cannon that local politician Fred False had heard that Jennifer and her best friend, Millie Smith, were saying unkind things about his bid for a spot on the Tortville town council. False had taken Smith into the old concession stand and was berating her loudly. Before he had done this, however, he had taken Jones’ crutches and told her not to move. Cannon walked into the concession stand and confronted False. Smith, whose exit through the door had been blocked by False, ran out of the concession stand and to her friend. Cannon noted that Smith might have exited the concession stand by pulling herself over the counter, but she apparently felt that she wasn’t strong enough to do so. Cannon threw up his hands and muttered, “Looks like a civil matter to me.” As Cannon was making his way back to the stands, he received an urgent message to proceed to Maple Street. He hurried to his patrol car and hurriedly drove to the scene. When Cannon arrived, he observed Deborah Distress and her neighbor, Ellen Exhibitionist, engaged in an argument. As Cannon left his car, Deborah ran over and cried, “You’ve got to do something about this shameless hussy, she parades around in her house in her birthday suit with the shades up. She lured my 10-year old boy onto her property with her exhibition and now she wants to sue for trespass.” After Cannon got Deborah settled down, he discovered that her curious son, George, had seen Ellen from his bedroom window. He went out to his yard and as he peered inside Ellen’s house, he passed out and fell onto Ellen’s property. Ellen then approached and told Cannon that she hadn’t slept for days because she was so emotionally distraught over Deborah calling her names like “shameless” and “hussy.” Ellen said that she had to take sedatives to keep calm and that she felt like she had to have some type of legal action against Deborah. At about that time, Cannon heard a cry of pain from Ellen’s backyard. He rushed into the yard and discovered seven-year-old Robert Distress lying on the ground next to Ellen’s trampoline. Robert explained that he thought the trampoline was cool and that he tried it out and fell off. Cannon noticed that there were no barriers to keep Robert from accessing the trampoline. Cannon also noticed that Robert showed signs consistent with a head injury. As Cannon directed Deborah to take Robert to the hospital emergency room, he noticed Candy Canine walking across the street. Candy explained that earlier in the day, her pet Bichon Frise “Fluffy” had bitten the mailman. Candy, who was crying, said that the mailman told her he was going to sue. She concluded by saying, “Fluffy’s never done anything like this before. What am I going to do, Sheriff?” Cannon, who hadn’t eaten for at least an hour, was thinking about dinner. He looked at Ellen, Deborah, and Candy and said, “Looks like civil problems to me. You all need to get lawyers.” As Cannon proceeded down the street toward his favorite restaurant, he got another call. This time he was told that he was needed in a sparsely populated area on County Road 6. When he arrived he saw Nicky Nuisance and Bobby Swine engaged in a heated argument. Nicky explained to Cannon that he was tired of the smell of Swine’s pig farm and he wanted something done about it. Swine explained that he and his pig farm were here long before any of the homeowners were. Cannon said, “Well guys, looks like a civil matter to me.” After Nuisance and Swine went back to their residences, Cannon drove off. As Cannon passed a particular point on the road, he winced. After all, a year ago he had been reaching for a donut and had accidentally run his police car off the road. The car hit an electric utility pole, knocking out the electricity for miles. A Dairy Queen five miles down the road had lost its electricity and all of its ice cream had melted. The Dairy Queen was planning on suing both Cannon and the Department for it losses. Thoughts of the Dairy Queen reminded Cannon that he was hungry, and he drove to his favorite restaurant. He sat down in a booth and began to read the Tortville Tattler. On the front page was a cartoon portraying a hippo dressed as a law enforcement officer. The hippo was entering a restaurant and was saying, “Let’s eat. Nothing but civil matters out there today.” The “cartoon” was actually a political advertisement paid for by Cannon’s rival in next year’s election, Danny Defame.

How many torts can you find in this scenario?

Identify any potential defenses.

Identify the negligence part of this scenario.