Personal Reflection Paper on "The Self"

The concept of "the self" in the social world is the knowledge that is gathered and learned by the individual. It is an internal recognition of one's self and the values, beliefs, characteristics, traits, and goals that makeup the individual. Starting from the day of their birth, people begin look for the relationship between self and the social world. Self begins to develop through the interaction with the individual's environment. The biggest influence for social development is the family relationships and cognitive abilities.

The most important part of the social world is self. By learning about one self we begin to form a self concept. The self-concept is universally considered to be a kind of organized informational summary of perceived facts about oneself, including such things as one's traits, values, social roles, interests, physical characteristics, and personal history (Bergner, 2000). The individual's perception or thinking about certain things, places, situations, and events is what helps to form the individuals self concepts. It is the individuals overall conception of their place or position in relation to all of the elements in the world. The self assigned portrayal of the individual is their self concept.

Self esteem is the belief an individual holds about their self. Good self esteem is when an individual has a good self image. They are happy with their lives and their role in the world. An individual with good self esteem has a more positive outlook on life and are happy and confident. Self presentation is how the individual manages the image they portray to the social world. One of the most vital skills in human social life involves presenting oneself effectively to others (Vohs, Baumeister & Ciarocco, 2005). It is how individuals control the impressions that are formed by other members of society.

Self-efficacy is the perceived abilities of the individual. This is when someone believes something about their performance standards or social abilities. The most effective way of creating a strong sense of efficacy is through mastery experiences (Bandura, 1994). If an individual is successful it will build up their personal efficacy while if an individual where to fail there self efficacy would be depleted. If an individual is used to success they could become easily discouraged by any failures. A good mix of failures and successes will give an individual more perseverance and a strong personal efficacy. Some setbacks and difficulties in human pursuits serve a useful purpose in teaching that success usually requires sustained effort (Bandura, 1994).

When an individual has self control they master their emotional responses, behaviors, reactions, needs, and wants. They have the ability to self regulate their actions and behaviors and have good decision making skills. The individual with good self control reacts well to stressful situations and have the will to act appropriately. Perceived self control consists of an individual's perception they have a good control of their emotions, behaviors, and reactions. Even though the individual perceives themselves to be in control this is not always the case. The individuals perception can be skewed and in their own self efficacy believe they are in control.

When I was very young I was shy and quiet. My older sister was a very dominant force in my life and I rarely made any decisions on my own. As I grew up and I began to attend high school I became very proud of my academic abilities and came to believe very strongly in my intelligence. I did not have the same confidence in my social abilities. Once my sister left school I was able to start to come out of my shell. I created my own social circle and began to gain more confidence in my social abilities.

As my popularity grew so did my self esteem. I began to see myself as not only a smart person but a friendly, funny, and outgoing person as well. The previous self image had changed and I no longer shrunk into the background but stepped to the forefront. After I left high school I left my home for the military. I was forced to take a leadership role early on and began to become a more confident and vocal leader. The more I succeeded the more confident I became.

It has always been important to me to portray the right of image of myself so people properly understand my capabilities. Self presentation is important to giving a good impression to society and properly displaying who I find I am and what I want people to see. As far as self efficacy, I find that I am a capable person that has strong leadership abilities and works well under pressure. I have a good sense of urgency and I am motivated to improve the lives of my family and friends. I find that I have a lot of energy and I am very organized. I am a self confident person that is usually successful at my endeavors. My perceived self control is good. I work well under pressure and rarely give in to emotional outbursts. I find I am fairly calm and rational in stressful situations and I make every attempt to portray friendly and kind behavior.

The two events that have impacted my life are being a military brat as a child and travelling the world and the loss of my spouse's leg. When I was a child we travelled constantly. My father was in the Navy and he was constantly being re-stationed at military facilities in different countries around the world. I lived in seven countries as a child before settling down in America. I was a shy quiet child until high school. The things I learned from living around different cultures were patience and tolerance.

When my spouse lost his leg it was devastating for my entire family. This event taught me what my capabilities are in a crisis. After my husband was shot I had to react instantaneously and make him a tourniquet before rushing him to the hospital. He was in the hospital for several months and I had to cope on my own. I learned I was capable of reacting properly in a crisis and I could take care of my families need in an emergency. This situation gave me more confidence in my abilities and a new strength of character.