Pastors and leaders are often the last people to seek counsel for problems or to practice adequate "self-care". They may tend to try to carry the burdens of others, rather than releasing others needs to Jesus. They may "bury" conflicts deep within, rather than addressing these needs in healthy ways.

3. "Pastoral Care, Counseling and Conflict Issues: A Military Leader's Perspective." Open and study the attahed document that contains brief principles for effective leadership and are helpful for all those who will provide leadership for others in areas including care, counseling and conflict, especially for those minsitering to active duty military, their families or military veterans.

The principles are from Admiral Vern Clark, formerly Chief Naval Officer of the U.S. Navy and now a Distinguished Professor at Regent University.

52. What is it that determines the words and idioms you use in a counseling situation?

53. What are some of the signs that a counselor must read to tell them how to communicate most effectively with people in need?

54. According to research men generally tend to see everyday encounters as _______________ ______________.

55. What does the author state concerning women's behaviors due to socialization?

56. What does the author state are the general differences between men and women in conversation?

57. What are the sated differences between men and women in overall communication?

58. What are the stated differences between men and women in sentence construction?

59. What are the differences in emphasis in the conversations of men and women?

60. What are the general differences between men and women regarding expression of feelings?

61. What are the stated differences between men and women regarding orientation in communication?

62. Do you agree/disagree with the differences between men and women as expressed in questions 3 through 10? Briefly explain your answer.

63. Briefly explain the main points in guidance regarding communication skills as provided in the Scriptures.

64. What are the main points Christian counselors must follow regarding communication and the use of Scripture in counseling?

65. Explain Jeremiah's main problem (Jeremiah 15).

66. Richard Niebuhr provides a theological principle which he views as applicable in every situation. State Niebuhr's principle. Briefly explain why you agree or disagree with the principle.

67. Explain one of he exercises a counselor taught a couple to help them shift their focus from their problems to the rebuilding of relationships.

68. Part of God's work in times of conflict and crisis is to create something new in a situation. Explain what Christian counselors must focus on in addition to problems.

69. Explain the steps in the biblical model of crisis intervention.

70. What was Martin Luther's solution for problems that required Christians to "extract the precious from the worthless"?

71. When Luther experienced temptation he used a two-step approach to deal his depression and extract the precious from the worthless. Explain those two steps.

72. Essay question: "What are some constructive or therapeutic ways you could introduce the idea of extracting the precious from the worthless to a person who appeared to be engulfed by his or her problems?"

73. What is the meaning of "Comforter" in the original Latin derivation confortare?

74. What does the Spirit reveal in a person's life?

75. Briefly state the characteristics of the infilling of the Holy Spirit.

76. "Christian counselors should not confuse the gift of discerning the spirits with ___________________________________________________________."

77. Essay question: "What are your spiritual gifts? Identify your gifts and explain how they relate, in particular, to a ministry of counseling."

78. Kevin Forrester completed research concerning the consensus of counselors as to biblical traits needed for Christian counselors. As you read and review this list of traits, list the traits, which you honestly believe, as you reflect on your behaviors now and in the past, that you possess and model on a daily basis.

79. Next, read and review the list of spiritual disciplines needed in counseling. List those disciplines that you practice on a regular basis.

80. The author lists "fifteen biblical qualities of an effective biblical counselor. Read and review the list. Be frank in stating those qualities that you currently express in your life and ministry. To do this, go over the list with your spouse, a colleague in ministry, a close Christian friend or mentor. As them to state those qualities that, in their opinion, you currently express in your life and ministry.

81. Essay question: After you have completed your answers for the above questions, develop a personal plan for improvement in the practice of biblical traits, spiritual disciplines and biblical counseling qualities. Be sure that you plan is specific (For example, stating that "I will pray more" may be an important goal, but it is not specific for there is no definition of what "more" means in this goal. You might say, "I believe the Holy Spirit is leading me to arise ½ hour early each morning and spend this time in praise and worship to start the day.") Also state what you will do for follow-up and accountability.

82. Which is most important and why: (1) determining a counselor's location in relationship to other Christian therapists and their theories; or (2) identifying one's position in relationship to God?

83. Explain why "it is possible to disagree without being divisive".

84. What are the "one anothers" that Christian counselors should follow?

85. What is the meaning of the term "religion"?

86. Why is it important for you to "Clearly define your own terms in counseling and be slow to judge the terms of other Christian counselors?"

87. What use does the DSM have for Christian counselors? Explain.

88. What are the basic criteria for evaluation when assessing books and other resources on counseling?

89. Name the four characteristics of authentic biblical Christian counseling.

90. Name and briefly explain four dangers and temptations in counseling.

91. What was Jesus' approach when it came to his overall practice of ministry?

92. Essay: "Which dangers identified in the chapter are you more likely to face in your own approach to counseling? Give reasons for your selections and develop a plan to deal with the dangers."