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  • What do you think are the biggest adjustments a person has to make when entering a marriage? Can you think of any strategies that could be used to minimize the stress associated with these adjustments?
  • What do you think are the biggest adjustments a person has to make when entering a marriage? Can you think of any strategies that could be used to minimize the stress associated with these adjustments?

From experience when entering a marriage the biggest adjustments were communication and learning how to live together happily as one. When I first moved in with my husband I had ways that I was set in and so did he, we clashed. At first we would just deal with the issues within ourselves not expressing our concerns. That was a huge mistake, we started arguing and staying away from one another, then we didn't speak about the kids, bills, et...so that we could avoid a dispute. Finally we set down and expressed our feeling and how we could handle the issues at hand. We had to learn how the other had lived their entire life and adapt to one anthers ways.

The strategies that we used was open communications, expressing feelings, having understanding, we talked openly about financial issues, and we learned to always be our-self. We also made sure to show love to each other, we did things together, always showed appreciation for one another, laughed a lot, emotionally and physically supported each other, and keep things interesting. We were married for 12 years and the only reason we divorced was due to his alcohol and drug abuse (he still has to this day!), if not for those issues we would still be married.

The biggest adjustments that a person makes when entering a marriage is that they have to learn how to share household responsibilities with their spouse, they have to agree on decisions made about the household, they have shared finances, they have to learn how to deal with the differences in living styles, and they have to get accustomed to coming home to their spouse. Being in a marriage requires work just like dating requires work. When you are in a relationship, you should feel as if you can trust that person to have your best interest at hand. Some strategies that could be used to minimize the stress associated with the adjustments are engaging in meaningful conversations, listening to the concerns of your partner, sitting down and developing a budget together, sharing the household responsibilities, and agreeing to discuss any issues that are presented instead of going to bad unhappy. I am sure that there are tons of other strategies to help newly married people, but these are the things that my parents told me that were vital in any marriage.

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