Melissa Martinez
What is a sexual script? How is it formed? When is it called into play? What does it do for us? What assumptions do we make about others' scripts? In your answer, make reference to relevant research and researchers noted in your course materials. Sexual scripts are blue print that is a guide for our actions to operate at the cultural, interpersonal and intrapychic level. All of us are sexual beings, and are not exactly identical to another in our sexual definition or script expectation. We are not born with a sexual script in place, but learn our beliefs as a child within the culture we are raised along with media and peer influence. We are all born with a drive to respond to our behavioral responses of our biological needs. Some of our most powerful behavior drives are breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping, and sexual involvement. Sexual drives are biological urges to participate in sexual activity in certain sexual roles. Once a sexual script is learned, it shapes how the drive is answered. Sexual scripts help us reduce anxiety by decreasing our uncertainty, and give us a sense of predictability. There are as many unique sexual scripts as there are people, yet some of these scripts have common themes and can be viewed as a "collective pattern or trend in the larger social level (Simon, W., Gagnon, J.H. 1994)."
Several of us learn sexual scripts in a passive way, not by experience but from concepts, images, or misconceptions. Traditional sexual scripts have been found to include several uncertain assumptions. Sexual scripts provide us with direction how to feel, behave or think in particular sexual situations.
Scripts that are more contemporary say that both partners need to communicate to be open about feelings and learn to meet one another's desires, needs, and wishes while making sure that their own needs are being met. Sexual scripts can cause conflict when they are following two different sexual scripts. Example: when sexual scripts do not represent desire, it can lead to miscommunication and hurt feelings.
No matter how justified our expectations or assumptions are they can create a lot of conflict. Our self-pride likes us to make assumptions knowing in making them, we end up giving our power to another person. We feel if that other person does not meet our expectation its proof they do not love us. Simply put, the more we assume and expect, the less chance we have of being peaceful and happy. Unconditional love begins by freeing each other from our own assumptions and expectations of each other.