In two pages describe verbal communication between you and a close friend or romantic partner of the other sex. Analyze the extent to which you and the other person follow patterns typical of women and men in general

Our language and many of our nonverbal behaviors are symbolic. Symbols can be arbitrary, ambiguous, or even abstract. Because language and culture reflect each other, we learn a set of values, perspectives, and beliefs when we learn to speak and read. Because there are no single definitions for symbols, we must interpret them in the context of the present interaction to attach meaning, which is often subjective. Communication rules help us develop shared understandings of what is happening in a particular interaction and which is appropriate. Two rules that help us understand this better include regulative and constitutive rules.Regulative rules help us manage the when, how, where, and with whom we talk about certain things. Constitutive rules define what messages mean in a particular situation by specifying how to count or interpret specific kinds of communication.

Language Shapes Perception

The ability to use and understand symbols has an impact on the lives we lead because language shapes perceptions. We use symbols to define experiences, people, relationships, feelings, and thoughts. The names or labels we attach to people, objects, or events shape our perceptions by highlighting some aspects while de-emphasizing others. For example, think about labels like wife, boyfriend, mother, or boss. We see how the language we use helps to define relationships and shapes how we view and act in those relationships. The judgments and values that appear in our language choices affect how we view or perceive people, objects, or events. For example, loaded language strongly affects our perceptions, usually by creating inaccurate negative connotations. Language can degrade others because we are influenced by the names we have for things. Hate speech is a good example of this and includes language that radically dehumanizes members of a particular group.

Specialized Types of Language by Group

When a group of people share a set of norms about how to talk and the purposes talk serves, they form a speech community. Different speech communities use symbols in different ways. For example, think about how your future profession or current job uses symbols differently than mainstream society. Gender is a prominent speech community. From a young age, men and women are socialized into specific gender speech communities. Women tend to be more expressive and relationship focused while men tend to be more instrumental and competitive. Because of the differences between genders, when looking at speech communities, there are common misunderstandings between men and women.

Using Effective Verbal Communication

We can use a set of guidelines for making our verbal communication more effective. When we engage in dual perspective we are recognizing the other person’s viewpoint and can work to keep our own view and the viewpoint of the other person in mind. Also, we should recognize that starting sentences with “I” instead of “You” leads us to take responsibility for thoughts and feelings as well as describing the dynamic more than blaming others. When we respect what others say about thoughts and feelings we are able to confirm rather than disconfirm them as people. Finally, we must be aware of levels of abstraction because symbols are arbitrary, ambiguous, and abstract. We need to find ways to make our communication more accurate and concrete for the situation at hand. One way to do this is to use qualifying language to remind us of the limitations of a message.