Have had depression for at least ten years. In the last three years, it's become bad enough that I've at time forgotten to pay bills on time (that is something I'm usually fanatical about) and have a problem even reading all the mail that comes to me and keeping track of my bills. For quite awhile I have "missed" events that I really would have enjoyed. Recently I've added caffeinated coffee !/2 expresso to my morning efforts to get out of bed and make an effort to start organizing, sorting and the like after at least a year of very little effort to maintain order in my room. I lost 45 lbs. in a rather short period of time due to aneroxia, which it took me a long time to even notice. I was admitted to the hospital due to a panic attack which was so severe that my lower legs seemed to want to kick about, and I believe I had a sharp pain my lower legs seemed to want to kick about, and also had a startling pain in my head, (much stronger than a zap, but very fleeting). I've taken so many meds over the years with almost no real results... suggestions?