Dealing With Passive-Aggressives
Robert wondered why he was always so stressed out when he was dealing with Lucas, the latest addition to his team. On the face of it, the new hire seemed very agreeable and supportive, but whatever interactions Robert had with Lucas left him wondering about Lucas's true intentions.
Lucas made lots of promises but never really seemed to deliver on them. What troubled him especially was that Lucas didn't respect deadlines. Whenever he pointed this out, Lucas always had a good excuse:
The instructions hadn't been clear, perhaps, or he had misunderstood, or he had been relying on someone else for some key task and that person hadn't come through. To make matters even worse (according to some colleagues), Lucas also had the habit of constantly complaining about Robert behind his back.
It is not difficult to ascertain that Lucas's behavior is passiveaggressive: continuously expressing negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive, passive manner. All the while, people like Lucas show all the signs of agreeable compliance, which makes them difficult to pin down and hold to account. As a coach, what can you do to help Robert and Lucas work more effectively together?
Questions
1. Should Robert confront Lucas directly?
2. What can the coach do to get Lucas to express his negative feelings openly?
3. What subjects or issues should be explored with Lucas?
4. What exercises can Lucas do to practice direct confrontation with Robert?
5. What can Robert do to improve his relationship with Lucas?