Case: Listening at Different Levels
One day, Joe is confronted by the following situations:
Scenario #1:
Joe goes to the loading dock and sees Anton "Mr. Opportunity" Knox. He says "good morning" to Anton and asks how he is doing.
Anton responds: "Man, not so good. My car was giving me fits again. I'm lucky I got to work at all, let alone a minute or two late. Not that anyone around here cares about my troubles. And, they upped the charges on my cell phone again. How am I supposed to pay for that?"
Scenario #2:
Tamiko enters Joe's office. Joe asks, "How can I help you, Tamiko?" Tamiko appears nervous and shy. She says, "I need to talk with you about something." Joe responds, "Sure." Tamiko takes a few moments to collect her thoughts and then says, "Anton made some comments to me. Sally said I should talk with you about it. I'm not so sure I should. Anton probably didn't mean anything by it. I don't want to get anyone in trouble."
• 1. What messages is the individual giving through his or her words and actions?
• 2. What might Joe do or say to show that he is hearing content (Level II)?
• 3. What might Joe do or say to show that he is hearing feelings (Level III)?
• 4. What more can Joe do to encourage the other party to share more so that he can truly understand what the party is truly thinking and feeling?
Scenario #3:
Sally enters Joe's office later. She does not wait to be greeted and simply blurts out, "Joe, I'm really concerned about the way Fred is dealing with his staff. I think you have a serious problem on your hands. Has Tamiko talked with you? I can't believe Anton has been saying all those things. But does Fred care? No. He just lets things go on as they are. Joe, I really think you've got to do something about it."
• 1. What messages is the individual giving through his or her words and actions?
• 2. What might Joe do or say to show that he is hearing content (Level II)?
• 3. What might Joe do or say to show that he is hearing feelings (Level III)?
• 4. What more can Joe do to encourage the other party to share more so that he can truly understand what the party is truly thinking and feeling?
Scenario #4:
Joe sees Fred later. "Hey, Fred, is everything okay?" Fred responds, "Yeah, why?" Joe says, "Well, Tamiko and Sally were in my office.
They say Anton has been saying some offensive things. Can you tell me what's going on?" Fred responds, as he ticks off points on his fingers, "Well, first of all, Sally needs to mind her own #!*# business. She's such a meddler. Second, if Tamiko has a problem, let her tell me instead of running off to Sally.
Third, as far as I can tell, Anton has just been doing his job and minding his own business. Jeez, I can't believe they are making such a scene over a little joke."
1. What messages is the individual giving through his or her words and actions?
• 2. What might Joe do or say to show that he is hearing content (Level II)?
• 3. What might Joe do or say to show that he is hearing feelings (Level III)?
• 4. What more can Joe do to encourage the other party to share more so that he can truly understand what the party is truly thinking and feeling?
Part 2
Case: The Right Response
Joe recently had a heated argument with Tina Tumultuous that ended badly. Tina accused Joe of treating her unfairly when he disciplined her for her offensive and rude interactions with customers. At the time, Tina had just returned from a three-day suspension for such conduct.
After Tina threatened to file a lawsuit, Joe yelled at her and told her to get out of his office. Feeling badly about this, Joe again asked Tina into his office and apologized for being angry and frustrated with her. Tina accepted the apology. Joe then invited Tina to discuss the situation with him in a calmer manner.
To have a successful encounter this time, Joe must engage in the appropriate communication responses.
Case Questions
For each of the situations that follow, answer these two questions:
• 1. What is the appropriate response (or responses) on the communication continua that Joe should engage?
• 2. What might Joe say or what actions might he take to use the response you selected on the continua?
• Situation #1:
Tina shares that she has recently divorced and is having problems with her older son, who is experiencing legal trouble. Though she has not shared these personal concerns before, she wants Joe to understand what these personal issues are, which are affecting her ability to perform her job.
o Response (or responses) on the continua:
Joe might say or do the following:
Situation #2:
Despite Tina's personal struggles, Joe needs to reinforce that Tina's behavior with customers is unacceptable. He wants her to understand that the three-day suspension was justified because her inappropriate behaviors with customers continue to occur and, if anything, appear to be getting worse.
o Response (or responses) on the continua:
Joe might say or do the following:
Situation #3:
Tina tries to explain why she has behaved the way she has lately.
o Response (or responses) on the continua:
Joe might say or do the following:
Situation #4:
Tina requests that the recent disciplinary action be removed from her personnel file. Joe must tell her that he cannot do this and why.
o Response (or responses) on the continua:
Joe might say or do the following:
Situation #5:
Tina asks Joe about ways that she can perform her job better. She asks for specific performance deficits and how these deficits may be overcome.
o Response (or responses) on the continua:
Joe might say or do the following: