Assignment
Reflect on the purpose of your essay. Think about changes that you might incorporate into your personal essay in order to better support your topic and purpose.
Complete the "Revision ChecklistPreview the document" and upload it to your discussion board thread. Add a paragraph where you state:
The part of your essay you decided to revise.
How you revised it.
What techniques or methods
My personal essay
Little Old Town
My visit to the Coastal town in Africa was an experience I had anticipated. I had been saving up for a while and when summer came, I was so excited to have my trip down to the little town in Kenya called Mombasa. I had heard a lot about this town and I am glad to say that my expectations were met.
Mombasa is a little town on the Coastline of the Indian Ocean that holds numerous historical sites and symbolism to Kenyans. The town is an island surrounded by several other islands such as Lamu and Zanzibar. It was interesting to move around the town in small town service vehicles popularly known as "tuktuk" from one destination to the next.
The houses in the town are built to meet the climatic conditions of the area which is rather sunny and humid. The heat is a bit unbearable! I had to wear loose clothing all the time to remain sane. The worst thing about the town is the sunburns I had and the tan on my skin, other than that, the environment was the perfect getaway I needed.
The old town hosts numerous historical buildings and sites that have great historical meaning. Being a Coastal town, it was easy to reference it with several historical occurrences which were relatable. For instance, I visited the "shimo la tewa" historical site , which was used as a prison during the colonial times. I also went to Wasini Island where I spent time with the dolphins and basked on the white sandy beaches; this was at Mpunguti and Kisite islands.
I really loved my stay in the country and the Coastal experience I had. The warmth and reception at the Coast reminded me of the love and serenity that still dominates the world. I was very happy to spend my summer in a warm and lovely place enjoying every minute of the experience. I enjoy travelling since it shows you how much beauty is in the world and what a little space you occupy in it. This was a precious moment to me and I will always cherish it.
This is the checklist
Revision Checklist
Your name: Date:
• Outline your essay as it currently stands.
Introduction:
State your attention grabber:
State your thesis:
Body paragraph 1:
State your topic sentence:
Summarize your evidence/examples:
Body paragraph 2:
State your topic sentence:
Summarize your evidence/examples:
Body paragraph 3:
State your topic sentence:
Summarize your evidence/examples:
Body paragraph 4:
State your topic sentence:
Summarize your evidence/examples:
Body paragraph 5:
State your topic sentence:
Summarize your evidence/examples:
Conclusion
Transition word:
How purpose is reemphasized:
• Locate two gaps in the outline where you need to make connections more clear. See "Is the Paper Coherent?" in Chapter 9, Section 2 of your textbook.
• How can I make my essay more organized? List two ideas.
• Where can I add more content? List two ideas. Describe what you might add.
• List 3 to 5 instructions for improvement provided by your instructor on your week 1 practice essay that would also helpful as you revise your week 3 draft.
• List 1 to 3 specific suggestions for improvement provided by your peers from your week 3 draft that you wish to address.