ASSESSING YOUR CONFLICT STYLE

INSTRUCTIONS

Describe two conflicts that you have been in and that did not have a successful resolution for you. Identify your conflict style in each and then describe what you could have done differently in this conflict.

Conflict 1 Description:

What you would have done differently?

Conflict 2 Description:

What you would have done differently?

WIN-WIN PROBLEM SOLVING

LEARNING OBJECTIVES

• Identify the relational conflict styles, patterns of behavior, and conflict rituals that define a given relationship.

• Demonstrate how you could use the win-win approach in a given conflict.

• Assess the effectiveness and appropriateness of using the win-win approach.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Follow the instructions below as a guide to dealing with an interpersonal conflict facing you now or one that you have faced recently.

2. After completing the win-win steps, record your conclusions in the space provided.

Step 1: Identify your unmet needs (i.e., the situation, the person(s) involved, the history, etc.).

Step 2: Make a date. (Choose a time and place that will make it easiest for both parties to work constructively on the issue.)

Step 3: Describe your problem and needs (behavior, interpretation, feeling, consequence, intention). Avoid proposing specific means or solutions at this point.

Step 3A: Ask your partner to show that s/he understands you (paraphrase or perception-check).

Step 3B: Solicit your partner's point of view/clear message (behavior, interpretation, feeling, consequence, intention).

Step 4: Clarify your partner's point of view (paraphrase or perception-check as necessary).

Step 5: Negotiate a solution.

a. Restate the needs of both parties (what both have in common).

b. Work together to generate at least 5 possible solutions that might satisfy these needs. Don't criticize any suggestions here!

c. Evaluate the solutions you just listed, considering the advantages and problems of each.. If you think of any new solutions, record them above.

d. Decide on the best solution, listing it here.

Step 6: Follow up the solution. Set a trial period, and then plan to meet with your partner and see if your agreement is satisfying both your needs. If not, return to step 3 and use this procedure to refine your solution.

CONCLUSIONS:

Based on the above assessment, please answer the following questions in an essay format. No more than 1.5 pages.

1. In what ways is this procedure similar to or different from the way in which you usually deal with interpersonal conflicts?

2. Was the outcome of your problem-solving session different from what it might have been if you had communicated in your usual style? How?

3. In what ways can you use the no-lose methods in your interpersonal conflicts? With whom? On what issues? What kinds of behaviors will be especially important?

4. What concerns or hesitations do you have about using the win-win approach? Why?