Revise a previous message
Bring in a one-page message (email, memo, or letter) you have written in the past. Exchange papers with other students (so that you're not revising the paper of the person who is revising yours). Spend a few minutes asking the writer to give you background information about the message: purpose, audience, and so on. Then, follow the three-step revision process described in Exercise 1.
Return the paper to the writer. Then, using the revisions of your paper as a guide only (after all, you are the author), prepare a final version of the message. Submit both the marked-up version and the fi nal version of your paper to your instructor.
Exercise 1:
Revise your email to sales associates at Herman Miller.
Revise your draft email to Herman Miller sales associates (from Exercise 2). What changes will you make to improve the message? Follow these steps for the revision process:
a. Read the email once, revising for content. Make sure that all needed information is included, no unneeded information is included, and the information is presented in a logical sequence.
b. Read the email a second time, revising for style. Make sure that the words, sentences, paragraphs, and overall tone are appropriate.
c. Read the email a third time, revising for correctness. Make sure that grammar, mechanics, punctuation, and word choice are error free.
Exercise 2:
Write a draft email to the sales team at Herman Miller.
Using the principles discussed for effective email communication, write a draft email to a team of sales associates. Imagine that you work for Herman Miller, a company that sells high-end office furniture. Today, the associates typically make phone calls and send online brochures to prospective clients. You believe that you can increase sales if the associates make personal visits instead. In your email, encourage associates to visit at least three businesses each week.
Use a respectful, encouraging tone, and provide enough reasons to convince the sales associates that personal visits will increase business. Invent whatever details you need to make your email realistic.